Demonic Princess

This won't be your typical rant about airlines or air travel.
You see, over the past five years I've been on more flights than I had in my earlier years; and, at first, I bought into the whole stereotype of the horribleness of people who work for an airline or at the airport itself: the flight attendants are rude, the security guards are callous and the rules of air travel are absurd and outdated. And, you know what? All of these stereotypes are generally true. But, that fact also kind of misses the point.
Let me begin with flight attendants, or "air waitresses/waiters," if you prefer. Yes, they're usually rude and brusque; they seem to be unfamiliar with "please" and "thank you." Of the past five or six flights I've been on, almost all have involved an incident where a flight attendant had to reprimand about four or five passengers who have blatantly ignored the rules (i.e. turning off a cell phone, or putting away an electronic devise until the plane has reached cruising altitude). And that passenger is not reprimanded in a gentle way; it's generally a very blunt "put that away," or "turn that off!"
Yeah, that's pretty jerky. But, think about that number of passengers I mentioned: four to five, on every flight! Think how ofter that happens if I - over just three or four years on five or six flights - have seen this happen so many times! On any given flight, probably since the beginning of air travel history, there are a handful of people who feel they need to be the exception to the rule. After a while, I'm sure these flight attendants just decide if people are going to be childish and arrogant, they can just dispense with the pleasantness. I know I would.
And, as for airport security it actually has lightened up since those post-9/11 days of darkness. The guards can still be a bit overreaching in their methods to make flights safe (and, I'll never, ever, ever in a million years condone any kind of racial profiling) but, they have just one job: make sure passengers make it to their destinations unscathed. Plus, they probably also have some vested interest in keeping planes intact. The less planes that get flown into major U.S. landmarks, the more money an airline makes. So, that's just straight-up job security.
So, to sum up, don't be like one of these new school teenagers who thinks breaking stupid, meaningless laws is some kind of act of rebellion, or a way to "stick it to the man!" You want to do that? Get ordained online and perform gay marriages in states where that's still illegal. Now that's rebellion, friends.

Of course, maybe I'm wrong about all this. After all, there is all a lot of evidence that reminds us people who work at the airlines and airports can, quite often, have their heads lodged firmly up their asses.

Exhibit A: http://www.cracked.com/article_17575_7-true-stories-that-prove-airlines-hate-you.html

Exhibit B: http://www.cracked.com/article_16849_7-dumbest-things-ever-done-by-airport-security.html

Oi vey!

First, we lost an angel...R.I.P., Farrah!

And then MJ, Jacko, the moonwalker himself dies so suddenly? It's been a serious mindjob for me! Thriller was the first album I remember listening to; it came out the year I was born and I've been grooving to songs like "Billie Jean" and "P.Y.T." ever since.

Thank you, Michael, for providing the soundtrack to my childhood. I did a moonwalk today, just for you...

All day, I've been passing storefront windows and mirrors and heaving big, resigned sighs...

The pink hair has to go...

It's been brought to my attention that, when it comes to the politics of becoming a mindless, corporate shill, one must adapt outwardly. Though it pains me to be such a sellout, I'm going to remove the outer vestiges of my youthful rebelliousness and play their little game for the time being. I'd rather fly under the radar for now and avoid becoming one of the expendables.

Besides, once I finally get a book deal, I'll once again have pink hair...and a pink house...and a pink Cadillac.

And, every year for Christmas, I'll send little pots of fuchsia Manic Panic to everyone who works at Lehman Communications (granted its still around then).

For now, Miss Linny will bide her time.

It's my 26th birthday

I am officially closer to 30 than I am to 20

and, I'm still a virgin...not sure how I feel about that...

Our general manager just got fired!
I always thought that was something they saved for a Friday afternoon; you know, the whole "can 'em and ship 'em off (hopefully) without incident" thing?
But, no, David Furnace will no longer be running the show here at Colorado Hometown Newspapers, and it has me a bit concernicus! I mean, I thought he did a reasonably good job here. He wasn't the most informed guy, but he had a great work ethic and he knew what needed to be done to generate revenue.
I guess it just wasn't enough to keep his job, though.
But, it does give me pause for thought: How easily could they decide my job is not necessary? Or that CoHo is no longer necessary? Yikes!
Stupid recession! Stop f**king with my life!

Every year, when some new, controversial film is released (this time around, it's "Angels and Demons"...damn you, Dan Brown!), Entertainment Weekly puts out the same old list of "Most Controversial Films of All Time!"

And, it is a pretty decent list, there are the movies that got banned and/or confiscated by governments (like "Cannibal Holocaust") Ones that caused riots (like "The Warriors") Ones that sparked national debates (like "Do the right thing") And, of course, that piece de resistance of controversy..."Clockwork Orange"

And, yet, every year Stanley Kubrick's masterpiece of "ultra-violence" is placed second to..."The Passion of the Christ."

Yes, ever since that fateful day back in 2003, when Mel Gibson released his graphic retelling of Christ's final hours, people have either heralded it as a true work of art (these are mostly Christians who weren't allowed to watch any R-rated movies as children) or as a hateful, vengeful, anti-Semetic rant from a crazy man.

Here's what I think, the movie itself is NOT CONTROVERSIAL!!! Is it more graphic than most films made about the life of Jesus Christ? Yes, absolutely. But, it never tries to tell us anything new (like, say, "The Last Temptation of Christ" did), and it wasn't anymore graphic than your average horror film. So, what's the big deal? It's Mel Gibson himself.

You see, the public didn't fully realize the movie had intense, anti-Semetic undertones until it was found that Mr. Braveheart didn't really fancy the Jews all that much. Gibson's antics outside of film making became bigger than the film itself, which is really saying something, seeing as how the movie made somewhere in the billions of dollars.

And, while it probably does deserve some place on the list...it should be closer to the bottom, lower than films like "Caligula" and "Bonnie and Clyde."

So, here it is, the list of the top 25 most controversial films of all time (as compiled by Entertainment Weekly). What do you think of their choices?

25) "Aladdin" - chosen because of an offensive lyric in the opening song (which was subsequently cut)
24) "Caligula" - chosen for obvious reasons...this movie is one orgy away from being a straight-up, no-plot porn film
23) "Kids" - chosen for its depictions of drug use and sex amongst inner-city teens
22) "Do the right thing" - sparked national debates about race relations in the US generations after the Civil Rights Movement
21) "Bonnie and Clyde" - allegedly glorified violence in its interpretations of the lives of famous outlaws
20) "Cannibal Holocaust" - pretty much set the stage for "The Blair Witch Project" by attempting to show "actual events" unfold detailing researchers studying (and being impaled and eaten by) a hidden, indigenous tribe in South America
19) "Basic Instinct" - you see Sharon Stone's vajayjay...enough said
18) "I am curious" - never seen it, but is apparently about a young, Swedish girl experiencing all the trappings of free-love in the 60s
17) "Freaks" - once again, never seen it...and, by the description and photo shown on the EW.com Web site, I never want to!
16) "United 93" - very intense retelling of the story of those brave few on the only high jacked 9/11 flight not to reach it's intended target
15) "Triumph of the Will" - this appears to be a movie that glorifies the Nazi regime, so it's pretty much self-explanatory
14) "The Warriors" - street gang must find their way through the mean streets of Brooklyn whilst avoiding all the other gangs out to get them. In retrospect, the violence is very cartoonish and tame...but this was 30 years ago...
13) "The Da Vinci Code" - based on some book by some guy...supposed to claim Jesus and Mary got it on...I believe someone else had this idea first...
12) "The Deer Hunter" - Vietnam traumatized those who served in myriad ways, this story tells the tale of three young men who have a particularly heinous run-in with the Vietcong...Russian Roulette ensues
11) "The Message" - a film about the origins of Islam that prompted some Muslim extremists to kidnap and kill people in D.C. in an effort to get the film banned
10) "Baby Doll" - heard of this one many times, but still haven't seen it...cotton gin owner comes into town and tries to humiliate rival by sleeping with said rival's wife who's still a virgin (she's 17, and they've agreed to wait until her 18th birthday to do the deed)
9) "Last Tango in Paris" - Marlon Brando gets naked...but, the older Brando, not the young, sexy Brando...::shudders::
8) "Natural Born Killers" - Mallory and Mickie go cross-country, killing people on the way and inciting copycat killers in real life...though, to paraphrase Eminem, a movie (or song) cannot "load a gun up for you, and cock it, too..."
7) "Birth of a Nation" - WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!! Posthumous note to the late D.W. Griffith: Heroes don't cover their faces with white sheets and kill people for the color of their skin!
6) "The Last Temptation of Christ" - Christ has "Satan-induced" hallucinations about a life with Mary Magdalene... wonder who that could have inspired
5) "JFK" - raised numerous conspiracy theories about "grassy knolls"
4) "Deep Throat" - so...her g-spots in the back of her throat? Sucks to be her!
3) "Fahrenheit 9/11" - Honestly, it was all stuff we'd already heard about Bush, it just got blown way out of proportion by political pundits and talking heads
2) "A Clockwork Orange" - one of cinematic history's most fascinating studies on the nature of violence...before the advent of video games and death metal
1) "The Passion of the Christ" - Mel "Sugar tits" Gibson's opus about the son of God... oh, and the guy who plays Jesus is named Jim Caviezel...JC plays JC...interesting...

…just as I'm about to leave for the day yesterday, I get an email from Mike. It's the one I've kind of been anticipating, where he says his life just sucks right now and he doesn't feel like he can be in a relationship with anyone, and blah, blah, blah…whatevs, I'm cool with that. But, my dad called me last night and said my federal tax refund came in the mail, and I made the mistake of saying, "At least something good happened to me today."

Of course, Daddy then gets all dad-like and gives me the whole, "you wanna talk about it?" I say no, go workout, and come back feeling absolutely, 100% better about the situation. It was, quite possibly, the quickest purging of a useless boy I've ever had!

Then, Dad calls again, and I finally give him the details. I realized, I'm not really bothered by the fact that he's not ready to be in a relationship right now so much as I'm pissed that he didn't have the balls to call me himself, he had to do it through email.

That's when my dad says, "You're absolutely right, no cajones, whatsoever!"

I luvs my daddy!

PFO, Mike!!!!!!!!!

...when you're only wet...



...because of all the rain?


...huh...


...guess we really do go too far, when pianos try to be guitars...

So, I started compiling a list of the greatest album titles of all time!

Feel free to add on in comments if I have made any egregious oversights on this list:

- "I am not afraid of you, and I will beat your ass" - Yo La Tengo

- "Southernplayalisticadillacmusic" - Outkast

- "Californication" - Red Hot Chili Peppers

- "Punk in Drublic" - NOFX

- "Rubber Soul" - The Beatles

- "It takes a nation of millions to hold us back" - Public Enemy

- "Songs for the deaf" - Queens of the Stone Age

- "Exile in Guyville" - Liz Phair

- "The battle of Los Angeles" - Rage Against the Machine

- "Intensity in ten cities" - Ted Nugent

- "()" - Sigur Ros

- "Their satanic majesties request"/ "Let it bleed" - Rolling Stones

- "Hooray for boobies" - Bloodhound Gang

- "Songs about fucking" - Big Black

- "The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill" - Lauryn Hill

- "Vulgar display of power" - Pantera

- "Reign in blood" - Slayer

- "From the choir girl hotel" - Tori Amos

- "Fables of the reconstruction" - REM
 

- "Hail to the thief" - Radiohead

- "Rum, sodomy and the lash" - The Pogues

- "Pretty hate machine" - Nine Inch Nails

- "Combat rock" - The Clash

- "Quadrophenia" - The Who

- "One nation under a groove" - Funkadelic

- "Stop making sense" / "More songs about buildings and food" - The Talking Heads

- "Q: Are we not me? A: We are Devo!" - Devo

Little Miss go-with-the-flow...

I don't like to rock the boat...

I've always assumed this is the way guys want a girl to be: low maintenance, non-confrontational, not at all pushy. Yeah, well, that's me...

And, you know what? It's just not enough anymore. I'm tired of being so cool about everything, I practically let life pass me by. If someone's not going to pay enough attention to me, not make me a priority, then I'm just going to have to find someone who will.

After all this time, I deserve love, don't I?
But, maybe I'm being overly dramatic about things. It's only been a few weeks, and I really shouldn't, as Amy Winehouse would say, "stress the man." I guess I've just been lacking a true, deep connection for so long, I want it to happen right away...right this instant...like, yesterday, man...

Whatever...typical girly-girl bullshit, I suppose...

Last measurements:

Height: 5' 3"
Weight: 138 lbs.
Waist: 27"
Hips: 36"
Bust: 35"
Thigh: 23"
Bicep: 12"

Now:

Height: 5' 3"
Weight: 133 lbs.
Waist: 26"
Hips: 35"
Thigh: 22 1/2"
Bicep: 11 1/2"




WooHoo! I know this is taking a while, but I'm still working on losing weight. I'm hoping to lose another eight pounds and see what I think from there. If I can get down to 125 pounds, that little, blue bikini I saw on the Victoria's Secret Web site is mine!!!

In other Linny news, it's date No. 2 with Mike tonight. We'll see how it goes...

...if guys can have these so-called "Bromances," what do women get to have? I'm just as close with my best friends as, say, Matt Damon and Ben Affleck are to each other; so, why don't we get some cool moniker to call our relationship?

Is it a chick-mance? How about Estromance?!! I like that, I'm claiming it as my own. I invented the term Estromance! 

Now, go forth, young women, and use it in your everyday vernacular:

"No, we're not lesbians; we're involved in an estromance -- you wouldn't understand."

To make things perfectly clear, I'm not talking about the Lohan/Ronson type estromance...it's more like Oprah and Gayle...

Now go out and have a few appletinis tonight, and revel in  your own, special estromance, ladies. Ya ya!!!

My worst habit that annoys the crap out of everyone I know is being very lazy and not tidy at all. I'm OK with areas I'm forced to share with others, like kitchens and bathrooms, but my own space (i.e. bedroom) is my domain. And, therefore, I feel I can keep it in whatever condition I please.

Have I tried to change this? Hell no. I just live on my own so others aren't affected by my slovenliness.

It seems like I've become stuck in a bit of a rut, lately. I still haven't lost a great deal of weight, but that's mostly my fault because I haven't stepped up to the next level.
You see, as many of you probably know, once you hit a certain level of fitness, your body won't respond to the same amount of diet and exercise anymore. So, it becomes necessary to increase certain factors -- like adding more cardio and strength training into your normal routine. And, like I've said before, I'm not good at remembering the strength part, so that will become a priority over the next few weeks.
As it stands, my weight is hovering between 135 and 140 pounds, depending upon how much I've eaten and exercised in a week. I'd like to be down around 130 in the next two to three weeks, and then work down to about 125 from there.
I've been able to really push myself in the past, so I believe this is, in fact, a realistic goal. I just have to keep reminding myself where I've been, and where I'd like to be. Plus, I need to take a serious shopping trip tomorrow and stock up on things I can take into work and eat so I'm not heading for Wendy's or Good Times for lunch (even if those Chicken Bambinos do call my name...)
I'm also thinking it would be fun to participate in that walk for breast cancer they do every year in Denver. I could probably blog about it for work, too, so I'd essentially get paid to do it...yeah, that's the ticket!
Until next time, friends...

Hannah Lynn Larson, born Saturday, March 7, at 11:30 p.m. She was 7 pounds even and 19-1/2 inches long (very similar to her Aunt Linny at birth, coincidentally)
And, she is the most beautiful creature on earth. I know I said this when my nephew Braden was born, and it was as true then as it is now. Hannah Lynn is perfect and wonderful. I held her in my arms and she looked up at me through one, tiny eye, and I melted right there...



...almost makes me want to have a baby...

I'm feelin' kinda crappy today. It might be my period, and it might be the changing of the seasons that always throws my shit out of whack...who knows? I just feel like nobody gives a shit about me right now, and I can't shake that feeling. It's a stupid feeling, because I know people care. Even when I was 13 and would scream at my mother, saying ridiculous things like "you don't really love me," I knew it wasn't true. But I said it anyway...and, I think a very silly part of me honestly believed it.
Maybe it's stress. I have a lot of irons in the fire right now. I've got basketball state championships to cover and the impending spring sports season just around the corner.
Maybe it's boredom. It is a Tuesday, and I never have anything to do on a Tuesday. I just sit and stare at a computer screen for about 10 hours. I think that's why my eye sight is getting progressively worse these days. It's getting to the point I need my glasses so much more often than I used to. I really need to get to the eye doctor and see if I need a new prescription. I'm betting that's the case. But, it's like Brian Regan once said, "Nah...I'll see tomorrow. I've got a sock drawer that needs organizing."
Right now, I just feel like blathering on, because I haven't posted in a very long time. So, feel free to tune out whenever necessary...
I'm liking this weather today, it's 70 degrees and sunny! I wore my knee-high Docs and a little, blue dress to work, cuz I was feelin' kinda punky.
I'm hungry, and can't decide if I want to go grab something or make one of the many things I have stashed at work for me. It's weird. I bring all these things from home so I don't have to leave work to get lunch, and then I never feel like eating them when lunch rolls around. I'd always rather grab something from Subway or Wendy's or Qboda. Hey, at least I'm still eating healthy.
My calves hurt like a MoFo today. I'm not sure why...maybe it was because I wore my heavier, brown Docs yesterday and they're just a bit tired. I probably didn't do them any favors by working out on the bike for 30 minutes yesterday, but I can't help it -- if I don't go to the gym regularly, I get all tweaked out.
OK, weird update...I signed up for Yahoo Personals and have been e-mailing this guy who's super cute, likes Radiohead and seems way out of my league. He wants to meet up, I'm afraid I'll disappoint him and end up another story on fmylife.com...so typically me...
Anywho...coffee buzz is wearing off...ttyl...or something...

Something has happened to me recently...it's almost disturbing, really.

I no longer hate Ann Coulter.

In fact, I just can't find it in my heart to hate any of those right-wing pundits anymore. Probably because they're just so sad.

I remember after the 2004 election, we Dems were told to 'just suck it up,' after John Kerry lost. Even though it wasn't really all that surprising he lost -- he wasn't, honestly, the best candidate for the party -- it still stung a bit to see the Republicans gloating and telling the left to get over it ....the election is finished....we won...nuah-nuah-nuah!!!

Maybe it's the fact that we have this new, progressive, ever so lovely administration that's made me a more forgiving lass. I just don't let Coulter and her cohorts get a rise out of me anymore! I feel so free.

But, I do wonder about the anomaly that is Miss Coulter (does she prefer to be called Miss or Ms? I don't know) I've moved from hatred to fascination when it comes to the waify conservative. Has anyone else noticed the amazing contradictions in the very being that is Ann Coulter? They are astounding!

First of all, she is a staunch conservative, and supposed Christian woman, yet she's in her 40's and has never been married. Nor does she have any children. Hmmm, this is rather odd, isn't it? Especially considering how the right feels about women in general as being their broodmares and housekeepers.

When the right talks about "Traditional Family Values," what they mean is: A husband (who is the breadwinner), a wife (who is the homemaker and child-raiser) and a few kids (more than willing to wave the red, white and blue proudly and go off to war for their country). Ann really doesn't fit into this mold, does she? And yet, she's a mouthpiece to extol its dubious virtues. I really just don't get that at all...but, at the same time, I'm freakin' fascinated by it!

OK, so she's not married and doesn't have kids. This appears to be a very modern approach to life, right? Ann must be quite the feminist! Au contraire, mon-amie! She, in fact, HATES other women! She's even suggested (in her book, so cleverly titled "If Democrats had any brains, they'd be Republicans") it was a mistake to give women the right to vote. So, clearly, this is not a woman who's at all familiar with Rosemarie Tong.

So, what is Ann, exactly? Is she simply a lunatic spinster merely screaming into the wind? Perhaps. But, my god, she is fucking fascinating!

...I thought no one noticed my shoes yesterday, until Chalan and I got an e-mail from our editor, Pike. The subject read: "Nice shoes," and the e-mail simply said: "Smartasses!"

That was well worth the pain of wearing five-inch heels!

My poor Chali-friend, though, ended up throwing a roundhouse kick at some guy last night and hurt her leg pretty badly. I drove her gimpy ass to Urgent Care today and the doctor said she had micro tears in her hamstring. Nothing real serious, but she'll have to avoid weight-bearing as much as possible. And, she gets Percocet, so she's happy :-)

Aw, the things we think we can still do in our late 20's! Except me, of course. I can actually do more now, physically, than I could at 17, because I'm not as heavy, and I work out just about every day. You know what I'd really like, though? I'd like to be able to put my leg behind my head like I could when I was younger. I miss that kind of flexibility. I still am more flexible than most, but not like I used to be.

Oh, by the way, had some Noodles and Co. for lunch (I've rediscovered a love for it) and I must say, I paid $8 for Tuscan whole wheat noodles and chicken, and the chicken was burned!! Gah! So, needless to say, I will be avoiding them for some time. I should have just gone to Qboda...mmmmm....naked burrito! Seriously! The carnitas naked burrito is only about 600 calories and it gives you all you need in a meal -- protein, carbs, veggies and good fats (provided you pay a little extra for guacamole). Tasty, tasty noms, indeed!

Anywho...I'm off to work my butt off at the gym...

We had some HR people from Lehman come in today to give us the annual, mandatory sexual harassment training. Although, after being with the company for almost three years, I don't remember ever having this training before. Curious...

Anywho, Chalan and I thought we'd be cute and wear some suggestive footwear for the occasion. I'm wearing my 5-inch, red vinyl, open-toe pumps. But, no one seemed to notice! Shucks!

It was kind of pointless, anyway. Our office is mostly female, and the few males who are here know what's up with the whole harassment issue! Our GM, managing editor and graphics editors are the only males I deal with on a regular basis, and they know I don't take crap. Especially not  from them.

What really bugged me, however, was not only did we have to sit through a 20-minute PowerPoint presentation, we then had to sit through a movie that simply reiterated the very same points the presenter had just gone over. Gah, Lehman has a lot to learn about efficiency!

But, whatevs, I guess! I generally don't have a lot of stuff to do on a Thursday morning, so this at least killed a little over an hour I would have otherwise spent on Myspace (and I say Lehman needs to learn about efficiency! LOL!)

The people who really need to pay attention to this shit (the execs who run the freakin' company, for example) probably don't even have to sit through these training sessions. Either that, or they simply ignore what's being said, I'm not quite sure. At least it's good to know that most sexual harassment cases go in favor of the plaintiff. Though, I'm sure most victims probably get paid off to keep their mouths shut...the workplace still, often times, being the boy's club that it is, and what-not.

But, I should probably wrap this up, I'm sure you all don't want to hear me wax political about the patriarchy that still has a stranglehold on this culture (and most cultures, for that matter)